Disciplining a child is a hard thing to do. It’s takes a knowledge of the incident and an insight into what will be effective in deterring a child from repeating the punishable behavior. However, the job is infinitely harder when it’s a two parent system. While this system is better for a child’s overall mental health and stability, it makes punishing the child that much more difficult. The issue stems from parents often having competing views on what is best for the child and what punishment will fit the crime. This can cause conflict that isn’t beneficial to the parenting relationship and is not good for the child’s development.

The key to any effective punishment that is decided on by both parents is to take the time to be thoughtful about the punishment before enacting it. There is no reason to rush into a punishment. The appropriate form of action is to wait and decide as a unit what the best form of punishment will be. This will present a unified front to the child and let’s them know that they are getting what is an agreed upon form of punishment.

With this in mind it is a difficult situation when a punishment has been handed out by one parent without the consent of the other. As a parent coming into the predetermined punishment it is easy for the parent to feel a little upset that it was done without their approval, but in no way, shape, or form should a parent ever dole overrule a punishment set forth by another parent. All it serves to do is to undermine the authority set forth. This gives children a mixed message about who is in charge. Punishments can be discussed in private but never criticized publicly. Making sure both parents are unified in their parenting will give the kid an accurate picture of who is in charge and will create a better sense of discipline.